Rest!

Rest; a dream I used to dream of; yet a reality I didn’t understand.  I am used to life being very busy. I work part time, I am a full time student, I also volunteer at my church, and of course take care of things at home. I would fantasize for years about what life would be like to just rest.  I would imagine doing nothing or going on long walks. I loved the idea of not having homework stressing me out and deadlines to meet but to just Live. Well, as it turns out God granted me that wish. He gave me the summer off of school so now I just work three days a week. Long before the school semester ended I felt God calling me to rest. He was clear with it as he usually is when he asks me to do something. I thought this was a wonderful idea ……at first.

The first week was great. I cleaned my house, read my bible, caught up with old friends. I enjoyed my week. The second week however was a little different. Cleaned my house, read my bible, most my friends were working, did some errands, went to moms, and got it all accomplished Tuesday before noon. Day two of the second week and I was ready to lose it. I was restless. A funny thing happens when your brain has nothing to stress about, it stresses about the lack of stress. I know this seems crazy but it’s true. I was going bananas!! Consequently I hurried on to the computer to see if I still had time to register for summer classes. I had to fix this problem. There was just no way I could not do anything for three months!! As I sat and logged in to the school site God gently asked me “Tara, what are you doing? This looks an awful lot like your taking matters into your own hands as you normally do, and not trusting me.”  Yep! I thought. That’s exactly what I was doing. God, you know my mind and I can’t handle doing nothing.  Except he didn’t ask me to not do anything this summer he asked me to rest. AAAAAHHHH Lord what does that look like? As I mentioned above, I am used to go go go, rest is such a foreign word to me. If God wants me to rest I need him to show me what that looks like. So instead of registering for school I prayed. I prayed a lot.

The next day a dear friend posted a blog about resting. Thank you lord!! She said rest comes from being in His presence! Just like that, God showed me what rest looks like. God isn’t asking me not do anything this summer, he is asking me to spend more time (just me and him) in his presence. In His throne room. And what an honor!! Through his son Jesus Christ I have unlimited access to the throne room.  He showed me that with my busy life I can often miss things. I’m too busy running to see him in everything but he’s there. He is omnipotent aka all over, before time, after time, beginning to the end, God is present.  He is calling me to pay attention. To rest in His presence. To enjoy His presence. To listen instead of always talking. The truth; he loves me so much he is asking to bring me closer to him this summer! What an amazing revelation!!! And to think, I almost missed it by registering for school. 

“Be still and know that I am God” psalms 46:10.  I know that he is God, but during this time God is saying to me, “My child, truly get to KNOW me, who I am. Spend time with me! It will change your life forever.”

God~

Thank you! Thank you for your wisdom spoken through a friend. Thank you for answering prayer and confirming your will towards us. I know how feeble minded I am and I love how you just gently remind me time after time. Thank you for your patience with me. Lord as your showing me to enjoy and rest in your presence I pray for a new experience with you. Help me to grow so close to you. Help me to feel your heart beat. Lord, slow my mind down to where I only hear you and your will. Help me to lay my life down so that you can dwell within me. Thank you again father for Jesus precious Blood which makes this all possible. I love you lord!

Amen

The Sheriff and I

As I was driving to work this morning I had a sheriff follow me. Instantly I am aware of his presence and my anxiety rises. He slowly backs off to run my plates per protocol.  My heart is pounding so hard you could probably hear it over the stereo.  Fear comes over me as I play ever possible scenario for him to pull me over. Finally as I near work he turns off and I let out a long sigh. I release all the breath I just held for five miles. You see, I just got my license about eight months ago. I had spent fifteen years driving with no privileges; I am sadly very aware of the routine. I’m familiar with what it’s like when I see the lights flip on and I have to pull over.  The cop approaches the car and asks for the usual: license, insurance and registration. On a good day, I would at least have the registration but most times I didn’t have any of the qualifications needed to be out driving on the road, and I would face the consequences. This happened all too often and instead of me getting a license, I would just try be a better driver. I figured if I always used my blinker, went the speed limit, followed all laws of the road, I would be in the clear; however no one can follow ALL the rules ALL the time and there would be little slips. These slips always seemed to happen with a cop behind me and the drill would repeat.  

                As I mentioned though, eight months ago I did finally get my license and insurance!!! Praise the Lord!!! God stopped me through a series of events as he usually does. I had quite a bit of garbage I had to clear up from my past before I could get it but he walked with me and in the end I am officially authorized to be on the road!!! This was a huge accomplishment for me.

                So, why the fear still? Why does my heart stop when a law enforcement officer is anywhere in my premise? I prayed about it and God showed me. “My child; you’re the only one who still sees the old you.” I thought about that for a minute. If a person pulled behind me what would they see? Well, I have pink license plate cover that states boldly “Gods Girl”, I have on my rear window a decal that says “everyone that has breath let them praise the Lord.”  I’m blasting worship music from my stereo; this scenario probably doesn’t reflect that of a trouble maker.  When the cops run my plates they see a registered car and a licensed driver! Looking at my car they see someone devoted to serving God. This is how they see me; unfortunately I remember who I was. I remember the old scenario I played for you. I remember who I was before God rescued me and I fear that they can see that person too. “Therefore if any man be In Christ he is a new creation; all things have passed away; behold ALL things become New!” (2cor 5:17)  The sheriff behind me this morning saw the New me, not the old sinner but the new saint! He didn’t look on someone struggling with bondage; instead he was following someone who has been set free by God!

                God has called me to walk in that freedom. He doesn’t want me to keep beating myself up for the sins my old nature committed but to remind the enemy that they are covered under His Sons blood! When the devil brings up old situations such as this morning, I can boldly remind him it’s not going to turn out like it used to. I am a new saint not the old sinner anymore!!!!  

Lord~

Thank you for your truth! Thank you for showing me who I am in you. Thank you lord for restoring me and setting me free from the bondage. Lord when I see those old chains help me to remember I’m not in them anymore. They have no power over me. The blood of your precious Son paid the price for all my sins and I can rest knowing I am free! I am a new creation and I need to see me the way you see me lord. Help me with that. Help me rest in you. I love you so much God and thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for your grace Father. Let my life be a reflection of my gratitude.

In Jesus precious name

Amen!