My husband asked me the other night why I gave up on writing my blog. (My biggest fan missed me) and I had to really think about it. I wasn’t really sure why I stopped. I wasn’t busy, I did have time, and I couldn’t give him an answer right away. So, I sat down this morning to write and it hit me. My brain is so flooded with thoughts that getting them down on paper sometimes seems like an impossible task. I have the intentions to write one thing, then after a long trail down the rabbit hole, I drift back. My thoughts are scattered. And it is not just scattered thoughts, but something happens when my thoughts are put in print. Even when I watch and type carefully my words can be misread, misinterpreted, and misunderstood.
This happened recently and it really hurt my feelings. My first response was, they should know me better and should know my heart behind it. I wanted to write back immediately and defend my statement. Defend what I was trying to say but the Lord gently said “Tara Stop.” So I went to the place where I can truly pour out my heart to God, (the shower) and cried. I cried because I was hurt, because I was mad, because I didn’t understand. My shower time with God is truly my favorite. I take a lot of showers for this reason and anyone who is close to me knows this. Although, now, so do all of you. Maybe it’s because its quiet, maybe it’s because I’m totally vulnerable, maybe it’s just the refreshing hot water, but it’s there I can clearly hear God. And I did. I realized that so much of the church is divided and I certainly didn’t want to cause separation. I realized that in the big picture this wasn’t something worth arguing over. I knew my point on the topic and now I know my friends. Praise God.
The other thing He revealed to me is words; as I mentioned something happens when words hit print. Almost every person I know has either read someone’s text, or had their text misinterpreted. Even with scripture people interpret it different and thus division happens. In order to know what I meant by my post my friend would need to talk to me in person. In order to know what Gods word means, I need to hear from Him personally. This has to be done by spending time with each other. When God reveals something to me personally, it’s not up for debate. Words are powerful. The bible says we will give account for every idol word we speak. (Matthew 12:36) it’s not just my job to make sure I listen and read with understanding, I need to make sure I talk and type, or print with this in mind as well. And most importantly…DON’T FORSAKE THE GATHERING OF THE BODY. Both with each other and with Jesus, our sweet sweet friend!
