Driving in the Snow!

The snow has finally arrived this winter! Some people are super excited, especially kids. Sledding, snowboarding, and the occasional snow day make the white stuff worth it for the younger ones. Others however, like me, hate it! I love the look of snow but that's about it.  As soon as I see the flakes fall my anxiety rises. I know it makes no sense to live in the northwest and hate snow, but this is where God has me now, so I have to learn to accept it.  I probably wouldn’t have such a problem with the snow if I didn’t have to drive in it.  Actually, I wouldn't have a difficulty at all.  My whole issue boils down to driving in it.  I can’t explain how terrified I am of it.  It genuinely is crippling.  Many people say things like “it’s not that bad” or “You will be ok, just go slow” I know their intentions are good, but if they only knew the fear, they would see kind words don’t help.  No matter what I do to prepare myself I still freeze.  I get so freaked out I have abandoned my car and called someone else for a ride.  I have missed work, I have missed college, and I have caused others to miss work as well.  This fear is a serious hindrance. 

Well, normally I wouldn’t address the problem; I would find a way around it versus deal with it.  Previous years this has worked.  Normally there is someone I can find to give me a ride to and from work, however this year that was not the case.  This winter instead of a nice 8-5 work schedule, I am all over the place.  My work and college schedule vary so wildly throughout the week there is no one that can keep up.  My husband normally would cater to my driving fears but this year he is also in school and justly can’t.  So that brings me to a choice.  I can either become a hermit, or I can put on my big girl pants and address this anxiety.

I decided that as good as it sounds to be a hermit and never deal with this terror I knew I had to.  My life in the Northwest was full of this four letter word I despised and there was just no getting around it.  The first big day of snow I had to go to school and that whole morning I was frantic.  I was pacing in prayer begging God for an alternate form of transportation. When it was obvious He wasn’t going to somehow teleport me, my prayers started to change.  Instead of God help me avoid this, it was now, Lord get me through this.    I got in my car, buckled up and prayed.  I turned the radio off, I silenced all outside noises I had control of, and talked to God the whole drive to school.  And Yay I arrived at my destination!  I took a sigh of relief and then started to panic again knowing shortly I would have to drive home again. 

Well, it has been a week now of me driving to and from school and work in the snow and I would love to say my fear is gone but that’s not entirely true.   This week has led to a string of conversations with God the Father about this whole driving excursion.

God showed me how much driving in the snow is very similar to my walking with Him.  One of the biggest things about driving in the treacherous conditions is you hardly have control.  At any moment you could hit ice and slide off the road.  You have to keep both hands on the wheel at all times to be prepared to correct your course.  Your eyes have to be diligently watching the path your tires are treading on to make sure you are taking the best route. The entire trip from point A to point B you must be focused! Honestly driving in the winter should be how I drive all year.  I should always be focused and diligently watching the roads but I don’t.  I know the conditions, I know the route, and so I get lazy. 

Oh how parallel my Christian walk is.  When things are out of my control, I panic.  I am afraid and after checking all my resources and then begging God to remove the obstacle, I give up, surrender, and pray for His help.  When things are going smooth I tend to slack.  I am not as attentive as I should be.  I unfortunately, can just go through the motions.  I act as if I have everything under control. So God brings the snow.  He reminds me control is merely an illusion.  An illusion I cling to far too much.  He brings me back to my desperation for Him. When I am driving in the snow I do not stop praying.  That is how my days should be.  I ought to be constantly communicating with God throughout my day.  The bible talks about being watchful at all times. When Jesus went to pray preparing himself to be crucified, he came back to find his disciple sleeping.  “Watch and pray so you don’t fall into temptation!” (Luke 22:41)  See, to them, they were unaware of what was about to take place.  They thought things were under control and they became too relaxed, even to the point they fell sleep.  I can “fall asleep” in my walk with God. 

I believe very strongly that Gods church is being shaken right now. I believe in the Awakening that’s coming. I know God is doing miraculous things.  He is bringing people to Him through the Holy Spirit, He is healing, He is reviving His church.  Gods Spirit is alive and moving! Praise God!!! As I have talked about before this isn’t a time to sleep! I do not want to miss being a part of His plan.  I do not want to “just go through the motions” I want to be alive and active. I want to be used by God. I certainly do not Him to look down for someone and find me sleeping.  And I unquestionably do not want to be sleeping when He returns! Tara Wake Up!! It is time for revival! It is time for healing! Now is the time! It is time to be diligent, always watching, and drive like I am driving in the snow! Always relying on Jesus and not an illusion!

Thank you Lord for your faithful reminders to wake up! Thank you for using someone like me.  Thank you God for being with me this week through my fears allowing me to rely only on you.  You are the Only one that has control of this world.  Thank you that I can cling to You instead of the clinging to earthly things.  God, help me walk intentionally.  Always watching, keeping both hands on the wheel, being steadfast in prayer. Lord, help me to not grow weary but to come to You for strength! I know that You will prepare me and provide all I need to do Your will in my life! Thank you Lord~!!

In Jesus Precious Name~

Amen

Oh How He Loves Me!!

Sometimes I tend to forget how much God loves me.  I find myself afraid of the Father I disappoint.  Just like a child, when I do something I know he doesn't approve of, I hide.  I know God is big and can see all, so it is more like I ignore His presence.  God tells us all over His word that sin separates us from him.  I know that because He is a Holy God He cannot be in the same presence where sin is.  But it also makes us, His kids, run away from Him.  Just like in the garden after mankind's first sin, Adam and Eve, hid.(Genesis 3:8)  We feel the shame and sadness of hurting our daddy.  I avoid Him because I know that I hurt him.  I know that I dug the nails in deeper to my Saviors hands. Sin separates me.

God is my EVERYTHING and I hate being apart from Him.  It is painful and I feel alone.  It is fighting with my best friend and every day that I avoid Him is a day my heart aches unbelievably.  The whole time God is reminding me of His love saying "Sweet child I love you, repent, and come back to me."  He gently reaches out to me and many times I turn away.  I know I just need to repent but the truth is I hate that I hurt Him.  Saying sorry just doesn't seem enough to me after hurting the Maker of the Universe.  But that is what repentance is, it is the difference between just saying sorry, and being truly sorry from your core. Sunday at church God put a picture in my head of my sin laying on Jesus back as the centurions flogged him. God reminded me that it wasn't just past sins Jesus was whipped and died for, but also future ones.  My sins, all of my sins, were laid on Jesus and died on the Cross of Calvary. There is no more shame, no more condemnation for those in Christ. (Romans 8:1) I am covered by Jesus blood.  I am saved from shame by Gods perfect grace. Thank you Lord.

Today as I opened my bible to prepare for the day God led me to read Psalms 139.  "Lord, you have searched me and you know me," It says he knows All about me. Even before I am going to think a thought he knows.  He knows what I am going to think before I even think about thinking it!! It says not only does He know me completely, He is everywhere.  It says there is no place I can go that God is not there. It even says "If I make my bed in the depths you are there" Ok, let me get this straight.  God not only knew I was going to sin before I did; He was there with me when I did. Not feeling so great about this passage thus far.  Praise God it goes on to say He knit me in my mother’s womb; that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It even says “How precious are Your thoughts about me!!!”(Psalms 139:17)  That did it.  I wept.  The Star Breather thinks precious thoughts towards me. Wow!!! I was speechless. I fell down in my living room with my hands lifted high, praising and worshiping an amazing God that my feeble mind cannot comprehend. All I could think about is the song "How he loves me." 

The passage ends with "Search me oh God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out ANYTHING that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life" (Psalm 139:23-24) David's heart cry is my heart cry.  Starting with realizing how big God is, He then reveals His Love for us, leads us to this place of total submission where we want to surrender anything and everything that hinders us from His love.  I needed that today.  I needed reminded of how deep His love is for me.  The way he delicately knit me together and His thoughts towards Tara. Oh how He loves me!!!!!

Jesus,

Precious Father, Holy Almighty God, thank you!! Many times I am at a loss for words when it comes to expressing my gratitude.  There simply isn’t words for how much I love you and how thankful I am.  I know who I am apart from you God, and I thank you for who You say I am.  I praise you for who I am IN You!! Thank you Jesus for giving up your life for somebody like me.  For taking my sins, all my sins to that cross with you. Your word says You bore my sins, that I might die to sin and live righteously.  By Your wounds I am healed!  (1 Peter 2:24) You took the penalty for me Jesus and for that I am eternally grateful.  I will use my life to praise you always.  Like David's cry God please keep searching me and remove anything that isn’t of you.  God no matter what, no matter how painful, Lord purge me of ungodliness. Make me more like you. Thank you Father for loving me and caring so much!! 

In Your Holy name;

Amen

Are you ready?

Onward Christian soldiers marching out to war, with the cross of Jesus going on before!  This is an old hymn I remember singing when I was little and attending church.  I didn’t know what it meant I just remember in my precious moment’s bible there was a picture of a little kid in war gear.  And in true precious moment’s style, the armor was over sized and too big.  I loved singing that song because I felt the power behind it.  The congregation would sing it with such authority like they knew the battle was already won.  The enemy was going down as Christians march forward! Jesus said it himself that the gates of hell will not prevail! (Matthew 16:17-19) The other day I woke up with this song in my head after not hearing it for probably 15 years! 

I have been feeling for awhile now that Christians are being filtered. All around me I am watching some Christians step up into the battle ready to fight and I have watched others sadly go A.W.O.L. I have seen people’s faith truly move mountains and I’ve witness people’s faith disintegrate. Some Christians have had an amazing spiritual awakening while others have sorrowfully died.  “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, but I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.  And when you have returned, strengthen your brother” (Luke 22:31-31). This is one of my favorite verses because Jesus himself states he prays for us.  When life seems like no one cares always remember Jesus prays for us!  When we are being sifted Jesus the Christ is praying for us.  Praise God for his compassion.  We learn from this scripture that anyone is susceptible to being sifted.  Simon (Peter) was walking with Jesus.  He hung out everyday and did everything with Jesus here on this earth.  If you ask me, I would think for that reason Satan might want to sift someone else, but that’s not what happened.  Satan wanted to sift someone who was close to Jesus intentionally.  Satan needs to attack the ones who are closest to Jesus.  Satan knows that they are the ones who are thwarting his plans.  They are the ones who are getting in the devils way.  They are the ones marching onward.  That’s scary to me.  The idea of Satan sifting me freaks me out.  Praise God the verse goes on to say “..but I have prayed for you!”  Again, Praise the Lord he prays for us! It is interesting that he doesn’t say I prayed so he won’t sift you, instead he prayed that afterwards Simon would be better used for His kingdom.  So many times I pray God protect me from evil instead of praying God make me better for your kingdom even if it involves me being sifted by the devil himself.  We can rejoice and take comfort knowing whatever we are going through Jesus is praying for us. 

It keeps getting brought up in the body of Christ to get ready, brace ourselves, and be ready for battle.  The devil is sifting.  That is evident. Some are unfortunately falling through the crevice, while others like Simon, come back stronger than before.  I know God is preparing His people for battle.  I can sense it.  Other believers can feel it as well.  Many of us feel the tension in the air knowing that God is preparing us for something. This is exciting and scary all at the same time.  Like soldiers preparing for war, Christians need to be preparing for combat. Jesus prayed that Simon’s faith would not fail.  Sadly I am watching people’s faith fail them.   I am watching people’s foundation crumble. A foundation they thought was sturdy was actually built on sand, even if it looked like it was on the rock, surely it wasn’t. Jesus said a house truly built on the rock wouldn’t fall.  I need to make sure my foundation is on the Rock of Jesus Christ.  I need to make sure I put on the full armor of God every day.  I must be ready and willing at all times being steadfast in prayer, devoting my time to His word.  This is not a time to relax for the body of Christ.  We have been resting for too long.  The calm before the storm isn’t a time to be calm at all, but instead build up our faith because the storm is coming. “If you are always ready, he will not find you sleeping, even if he comes back earlier than expected. I tell you this, and I say it to everyone: 'Be ready!'" (Mark 13:24-37)

My prayer is that I am ready. I pray that we don’t get sifted out when the devil sifts us.  I pray that we can march forward and fight the good fight for Jesus Christ our savior.  People need God, this world is dying, and we are the soldiers God has called. It is not a time to sleep. Wake up Church! The time is Now.

Dear Lord~

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for loving me so much even praying for me.  God you are so unbelievably good to us and I praise your holy name.  Lord, help me to stand strong in your name.  Help me to share the gospel and tell the world; help me to not grow tired.  Lord, I pray for the body.    I pray that your people rise and fight with your full armor on, using the shield of faith to protect us.  Lord, I have heard from so many that you are preparing your people and I thank you for being called by you and for your work.  Help me prepare myself.  Help me help others get ready.  God it breaks my heart to see people walk away from you as I know it hurts your heart more, help them to turn back around.  Jesus, help them to have a strong foundation that doesn’t crumble at the enemies attacks.  God you are our strength and our shelter.  Thank you Father for protecting us, equipping us, shielding us, strengthening us, and sending us into battle for you!  You don’t need us yet you chose us. Thank you.

In my saviors precious name,

Amen

New Year, New Resolution!

Another year is upon us. It is a time to set new goals and reflect the passing year. I have been doing a lot of reflection lately it seems.  This year has been over all a great year with lots of change. First of all, for the first time in my history, I actually completed last years resolution!!! Last year my husband, my best friend, and I, set a New Years resolution to quit smoking.  This had been my New Year's resolution for probably the last 8 or so years. I always started out with good intentions but never would make it very long.  This time I didnt begin strong on the 2nd, instead I put it off and finally on the 22nd put on the patch and finished strong.  I quit using the patch and it worked! Praise God I can report almost a year later that all three of us are non smokers now!!  Quitting smoking has always been an impossible task it seemed.  Everyone laughed at me last year for attempting another time to kick the habit, but this time by Gods grace I did it! And boy does it feel good.  I no longer stink.  I have money, and I can run up my stairs! Wooohooo, I am glad to be done with that dirty habit.

As happy as I am that I finally was successful at a New Years resolution it does pose a new problem, what in the world will this years goal be?? This time I had to come up with a new one and I had no clue what that would be.  I took the question to God.  What does He want me to work on this year?  His opinion is the one that matters.  I do not want to look at the world for goals, I want to look towards God.  He knows me better than anyone and knows what I need more than anything.  God being a faithful father answered me saying, "My child you are always so tired when I commanded you to rest.  Why don't you rest?"  

"Rest?? Really?  But God, I don't have time to rest" I argued back.  He then asked me when did His commandments become negotiable.  Hmmm, I never looked at it like that.  Keeping the Sabbath day holy was such an old testament concept I thought.  Don't misunderstand me, I know we are no longer under the law but now under grace but that also doesn't mean the law is not valid anymore.  The law is still valid and commanded today just as it was then, praise God we now have Grace for when we will fail! The law pointed us to our need of a Savior. Jesus said he came to fulfill the Law not do away with it. I still try and keep all other commandments now God is reminding me to keep His day holy.  Honestly, with all the commandments this is one that seems easiest, do-able, and most enjoyable, why don't I keep it? It pains me to say, but truthfully in my mind, I think the things I must get done are more important than Gods Holy commandment.  That is the plain ugly truth.  There is always something I need to do, somewhere I need to go, work that isn't finished, and so on. The last two years God showed me I needed to make sure and give Him time every day. Every day I need to feed my spirit with prayer and time in His word, this year God is asking for a entire day. When I look at ALL He has given me one day isn't asking much at all! And since He is God all knowing, He knows I am exhausted.  He knows I should be resting in Him.  Like any good parent puts their kids down for a nap I need to take one day and nap in my Fathers arms! All His commands were given for a reason and for our well being.  He knows this life can be tiring, hard, and draining at times so He commands rest.  

My New Years resolution this year is listening to God and keeping one day holy.  I heard a sermon on the radio about how to make sure you do all your cooking and cleaning etc the night before.  I am excited to give it a try and truly rest In Jesus on Sunday.  He is my father, my comfort, my Lord, and my friend.  I cant think of any other person I would rather devote a day to then Him.

God~

Thank you for being a caring father.  Thank you for loving me and adopting  me into your holy, righteous family.  Thank you for giving me your commands.  I know that you love me and they are best for me.  Lord you know what I need far above what I think I need.  Father, be with me this new year.  Help me honor you with all I do. Show me what this looks like keeping your day holy.  Lord help me grow deeper in love with you this year.  Thank you God for everything.

In Jesus precious name

Amen

Christmas Music

When I was a kid I hated Christmas songs! Stores would start their celebration in fall blaring the music from the loud speakers.  My mom like the stores, Loves Christmas music!  She loves Christmas in general.  Her house is always over decorated and blasting the tunes I despised so much.  She even has a clock that you can customize the way it chimes and tis the season it chimes "Silent Night."  Her joyfulness was not welcomed by me when I was younger.  I even remember one morning in my teenage years she was rocking out to her holly jolly tunes and cleaning, it was echoing throughout  the house while I was trying to sleep. This didn't go over well.  I woke up furious came flying out of my room, grabbed her cd out of the player and chucked it outside!  I was an angry teenager looking back.  Needless to say,  Christmas music and me didn't get along.

"For everyone who does evil hates the Light and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed!" (John 3:20) Back then, I didn't know that was what was going on.  I only knew I hated it. I hated anything that had to do with the Light.  Jesus birth is a time when the Light beams radiantly and I wanted to run away from anything pointing to it. Of course, now things are different.  I love the Light!  I want  to sing and dance praise songs to Jesus! I want to shout "Christmas is the birth of my Savior!" Its the beginning of the greatest miracle to EVER happen on earth!  It was the birth that lead to the death that lead to life! It doesn't matter what season of the year I cant help but praise God!

So, this year, I have been rocking the Christmas music!  I sing with my whole heart and soul, with hands lifted high in the air, Praising God for the miracle that brought this dead soul back to life!  I love that stores are playing songs to My King so early in the season! Its never too early to celebrate Jesus birth! This year my heart is filled with gladness.  Even if the stores are doing it for "commercial" purposes, I pray that someones heart can be changed because they heard the lyrics of Silent Night walking through Macy's, and then Mary did you Know at JC Penny's.  The stores being completely unaware that they are planting seeds for the great harvest!!

This year I pray Christmas music never gets old.  That I never get tired of hearing them play.  I pray that Christians use the music as a way to share the gospel.  I pray that unbelievers question why the music everyone knows inspires such joy in us, may they see its not just "another" Christmas song, it is Everything to us!  Its the miracle of Jesus birth we praise!!  My heart wants to flutter out of my chest because of the Joy God has given me.  I could write pages upon pages why this holiday I am overwhelmed with gladness but right now  I will just say "I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!"

Holy Father,

Thank you soooo much God for your master plan to send your son to this earth as a baby.  Thank you Jesus for humbling yourself and coming to the earth you created to bring us life!  God this is a season of celebration to your Name!  I pray that the story never gets mundane or old Lord but every year, all year, I will dance with joy for what you did for me!! You are so unbelievably worthy of praise!

I love you with my whole heart,
Amen

Walking in the Wilderness

Before I became a christian I did a lot of wandering.  I was a "free" spirit I would proudly say.  I wandered aimlessly and found myself in all kinds of situations. Spontaneous was definitely a word used to describe me.  Every day was an adventure where I had no idea where it would lead.  My "free" spirit took me all over the  place such as, Washington, Oregon, California, and even Canada randomly.  I was free to drift wherever I chose.  Looking back I can see I wasn't free at all.  What I thought was freedom happened to be something keeping me in captivity. Truthfully, I had to keep moving.  I didn't like to settle down. I didn't want to find myself stuck somewhere for too long.  I didn't want anyone to get to know the real me.  So, off I would go from place to place making sure I never got to attached to any one place or any one person.  Freedom to me was not having to answer to anybody. It was not having strings attached.  Freedom was really isolation wrapped in pride.  Interesting how the devil deceived even my vocabulary.  And as for wandering or drifting by, I was actually lost.  I wasn't enjoying the thrill of the unknown.  I was scared and insecure. I was unsure of where I was or even who I was. I was a slave to sin, isolated and alone.  But one night when I had thought I lost myself completely, I cried out to God, and He answered!. He said he was the Way and that with Him I wouldn't be lost anymore.  He took me into his arms and held me.  It was the first relationship I didn't run away from. He gave me a new identity.  He told me who I was In Him, and how much He loved me. In His arms I felt safe, I was home. 

Five years later, He still holds me.  He wraps His arms around me and reminds me of His love.  No more being lost, I have truly been found.  Although these past few weeks I have felt like I have been wandering again.  It is a different feeling then it was back then.  I'm not sure how to describe it, all I know is I feel like I am wondering in the desert and its just me and God.  The wonderful difference between the lost I was then, and the wandering I am doing now, is Jesus! You see, He's not wandering with me, He's walking with me! I may feel disconnected, unsure of my surroundings, and maybe even scared at times, but Jesus is walking right next to me, guiding me, leading me, loving me, and revealing His truth to me.  This time with Jesus has been amazing.  God has taken me out (metaphorically speaking) of this world and put me into the desert to spend time with Him.  He made the chaos go away so I would intently listen to Him.  Not all that go into the wilderness or desert are lost.  In Matt 4:1 Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.  Crazy.  He was directed into the wilderness for a purpose; to be tempted by the devil.  I do not know if temptation by the devil is the reason I am in the desert but I can stand on the promise He has a purpose. It is preparation for His kingdom. God is growing, shaping and molding me and I cant wait to find out how I will be used to.  This time in the desert I have peace and will keep walking with Jesus.  He will one day lead me back into the world but for now I rest in His arms; My home.

Dear Father,

Thank you for finding me and giving me a new identity in you lord.  Thank you for giving me a home and for making a place for me in your Kingdom.  I praise you God.  Lord, as I have been walking in the wilderness lately, I thank you for walking every step with me.  Even though I dont know where I am going I can rest because you do.  Your Word tells me Not to lean on what I understand, but in All my ways acknowledge you and you will direct my paths.  Thank you Lord for that promise that I can claim.  Lord teach me, shape me, and mold me for whatever purpose you have for me that will bring you glory.  I only want to serve you Lord.  I trust you God and Love you.

Amen.

Transformers!

Transformers happens to be one of my favorite cartoons/ movies of all time.  I grew up watching them.  To this day I find my self daydreaming about how a specific car would "transform". I know this is silly but God gave me a wild imagination.  I love the idea as well.  Hero's in disguise.  During the day they blend into our world looking like all the others but they are not.  They are different.  They are special. They are Heros.

I have been talking to God a lot this week about being a new creation.  His word tells me that all things become new, the old is dead and gone.. Once we believe in/commit to Jesus and His Lordship we are new creations (Mark 8:34; 2 Corinthians 5:17).  We now have His Spirit living and breathing inside us!! Magnificent! If you looked at me 4 years ago this verse is 100% true.  I am DIFFERENT! Thank you Lord.  So why have I been going to God lately questioning it.  Well, I am a new creation, I know this, the Bible tells me so; however, my past is everywhere.  It seems quite a bit of people remember the "old" me very well.  And these stories make there way public.  This hurts me.  First I find it shameful. My past is nothing I want to remember.  I was talking to a friend the other night about this and she states when her past gets brought up she wants to hide.  She wants to physically clothe herself because she feels dirty.  I can relate completely to this.  I too want to hide.  My past was sin.  I was famous in my role as the "wild child" and "party girl" because for years that was my identity.  When I first cried out to God it was on my living room floor asking Him to "kill" the old me.  I hated who I had become.  But I didn't know how to be anyone else. God is faithful and that weekend I went to a church for the first time in 15 years and the sermon was how to bury the "old" us!! Wow! God spoke directly to me after I had walked away for so long! I recommitted my life to him and have not looked back.  And 4 years later I am truly a new creation.  

While I was in prayer the other day about this "transformation" concept with God He showed me two very important things.  First, He said look at the butterfly.  Every one knows it was once a caterpillar but that doesn’t change what it is today.  It will never go back to being a caterpillar, not after seeing how beautiful God had intended it to be. It is beautiful and free!  That's me!! I am beautiful because I am the way God intended me to be.  It doesnt matter that the world remembers the caterpiller me, it doesnt change what I am today.  In fact, me being that caterpillar made me into the butterfly.

The second thing at Bible study this week, still thinking about why the world seems to always bring up my past, God showed me His Truth.  I was thinking that since we are new creations it would be nice if God would give me a new body.  A new look. I truly wanted my past self to be dead.  I wanted all past ties severed. I never wanted to be remembered as the caterpillar. “But the Lord said to Samuel ‘Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature because I have rejected him; For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord  looks at the heart!’" (1 Samuel 16:7).  Again, could He have been any clearer to me?  God did change my look!!! He sees my heart! He promised me to remove my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26)!! And He did! When He looks at me He sees me as pure! Praise God! 

So God did transform me completely.  I once was a caterpillar, now a beautiful butterfly.  He once saw me with a heart of stone, now with a heart of flesh that longs to serve, worship, and honor Him!  That leaves me with a mission! I have to again not be ashamed of my old self but tell the world what is responsible for my change. The reason why I am not that way anymore. I am to stay in this world for now, looking like the others but truly not being of this world.  I am called to pray for the lost, love them as God loves them, and serve the way Jesus served us.  Christians need to be "Hero's in disguise!" 

Father,

Every time I call on You, You are so faithful to answer. I don’t understand it but praise You for it.  Thank You God.  Thank You that You made me beautiful.  That You transformed me! Thank You Lord for not just rescuing me from eternal damnation but for molding me.  Until the day I leave this world to be with You eternally, God help me to tell the world about Your transformation.  Help me God to show the world You through the way I love, serve, and pray.  Thank you Jesus for setting the example for me to follow.  I praise You every day and every moment.  

Love Always,

Your Butterfly