Driving in the Snow!

The snow has finally arrived this winter! Some people are super excited, especially kids. Sledding, snowboarding, and the occasional snow day make the white stuff worth it for the younger ones. Others however, like me, hate it! I love the look of snow but that's about it.  As soon as I see the flakes fall my anxiety rises. I know it makes no sense to live in the northwest and hate snow, but this is where God has me now, so I have to learn to accept it.  I probably wouldn’t have such a problem with the snow if I didn’t have to drive in it.  Actually, I wouldn't have a difficulty at all.  My whole issue boils down to driving in it.  I can’t explain how terrified I am of it.  It genuinely is crippling.  Many people say things like “it’s not that bad” or “You will be ok, just go slow” I know their intentions are good, but if they only knew the fear, they would see kind words don’t help.  No matter what I do to prepare myself I still freeze.  I get so freaked out I have abandoned my car and called someone else for a ride.  I have missed work, I have missed college, and I have caused others to miss work as well.  This fear is a serious hindrance. 

Well, normally I wouldn’t address the problem; I would find a way around it versus deal with it.  Previous years this has worked.  Normally there is someone I can find to give me a ride to and from work, however this year that was not the case.  This winter instead of a nice 8-5 work schedule, I am all over the place.  My work and college schedule vary so wildly throughout the week there is no one that can keep up.  My husband normally would cater to my driving fears but this year he is also in school and justly can’t.  So that brings me to a choice.  I can either become a hermit, or I can put on my big girl pants and address this anxiety.

I decided that as good as it sounds to be a hermit and never deal with this terror I knew I had to.  My life in the Northwest was full of this four letter word I despised and there was just no getting around it.  The first big day of snow I had to go to school and that whole morning I was frantic.  I was pacing in prayer begging God for an alternate form of transportation. When it was obvious He wasn’t going to somehow teleport me, my prayers started to change.  Instead of God help me avoid this, it was now, Lord get me through this.    I got in my car, buckled up and prayed.  I turned the radio off, I silenced all outside noises I had control of, and talked to God the whole drive to school.  And Yay I arrived at my destination!  I took a sigh of relief and then started to panic again knowing shortly I would have to drive home again. 

Well, it has been a week now of me driving to and from school and work in the snow and I would love to say my fear is gone but that’s not entirely true.   This week has led to a string of conversations with God the Father about this whole driving excursion.

God showed me how much driving in the snow is very similar to my walking with Him.  One of the biggest things about driving in the treacherous conditions is you hardly have control.  At any moment you could hit ice and slide off the road.  You have to keep both hands on the wheel at all times to be prepared to correct your course.  Your eyes have to be diligently watching the path your tires are treading on to make sure you are taking the best route. The entire trip from point A to point B you must be focused! Honestly driving in the winter should be how I drive all year.  I should always be focused and diligently watching the roads but I don’t.  I know the conditions, I know the route, and so I get lazy. 

Oh how parallel my Christian walk is.  When things are out of my control, I panic.  I am afraid and after checking all my resources and then begging God to remove the obstacle, I give up, surrender, and pray for His help.  When things are going smooth I tend to slack.  I am not as attentive as I should be.  I unfortunately, can just go through the motions.  I act as if I have everything under control. So God brings the snow.  He reminds me control is merely an illusion.  An illusion I cling to far too much.  He brings me back to my desperation for Him. When I am driving in the snow I do not stop praying.  That is how my days should be.  I ought to be constantly communicating with God throughout my day.  The bible talks about being watchful at all times. When Jesus went to pray preparing himself to be crucified, he came back to find his disciple sleeping.  “Watch and pray so you don’t fall into temptation!” (Luke 22:41)  See, to them, they were unaware of what was about to take place.  They thought things were under control and they became too relaxed, even to the point they fell sleep.  I can “fall asleep” in my walk with God. 

I believe very strongly that Gods church is being shaken right now. I believe in the Awakening that’s coming. I know God is doing miraculous things.  He is bringing people to Him through the Holy Spirit, He is healing, He is reviving His church.  Gods Spirit is alive and moving! Praise God!!! As I have talked about before this isn’t a time to sleep! I do not want to miss being a part of His plan.  I do not want to “just go through the motions” I want to be alive and active. I want to be used by God. I certainly do not Him to look down for someone and find me sleeping.  And I unquestionably do not want to be sleeping when He returns! Tara Wake Up!! It is time for revival! It is time for healing! Now is the time! It is time to be diligent, always watching, and drive like I am driving in the snow! Always relying on Jesus and not an illusion!

Thank you Lord for your faithful reminders to wake up! Thank you for using someone like me.  Thank you God for being with me this week through my fears allowing me to rely only on you.  You are the Only one that has control of this world.  Thank you that I can cling to You instead of the clinging to earthly things.  God, help me walk intentionally.  Always watching, keeping both hands on the wheel, being steadfast in prayer. Lord, help me to not grow weary but to come to You for strength! I know that You will prepare me and provide all I need to do Your will in my life! Thank you Lord~!!

In Jesus Precious Name~

Amen

Oh How He Loves Me!!

Sometimes I tend to forget how much God loves me.  I find myself afraid of the Father I disappoint.  Just like a child, when I do something I know he doesn't approve of, I hide.  I know God is big and can see all, so it is more like I ignore His presence.  God tells us all over His word that sin separates us from him.  I know that because He is a Holy God He cannot be in the same presence where sin is.  But it also makes us, His kids, run away from Him.  Just like in the garden after mankind's first sin, Adam and Eve, hid.(Genesis 3:8)  We feel the shame and sadness of hurting our daddy.  I avoid Him because I know that I hurt him.  I know that I dug the nails in deeper to my Saviors hands. Sin separates me.

God is my EVERYTHING and I hate being apart from Him.  It is painful and I feel alone.  It is fighting with my best friend and every day that I avoid Him is a day my heart aches unbelievably.  The whole time God is reminding me of His love saying "Sweet child I love you, repent, and come back to me."  He gently reaches out to me and many times I turn away.  I know I just need to repent but the truth is I hate that I hurt Him.  Saying sorry just doesn't seem enough to me after hurting the Maker of the Universe.  But that is what repentance is, it is the difference between just saying sorry, and being truly sorry from your core. Sunday at church God put a picture in my head of my sin laying on Jesus back as the centurions flogged him. God reminded me that it wasn't just past sins Jesus was whipped and died for, but also future ones.  My sins, all of my sins, were laid on Jesus and died on the Cross of Calvary. There is no more shame, no more condemnation for those in Christ. (Romans 8:1) I am covered by Jesus blood.  I am saved from shame by Gods perfect grace. Thank you Lord.

Today as I opened my bible to prepare for the day God led me to read Psalms 139.  "Lord, you have searched me and you know me," It says he knows All about me. Even before I am going to think a thought he knows.  He knows what I am going to think before I even think about thinking it!! It says not only does He know me completely, He is everywhere.  It says there is no place I can go that God is not there. It even says "If I make my bed in the depths you are there" Ok, let me get this straight.  God not only knew I was going to sin before I did; He was there with me when I did. Not feeling so great about this passage thus far.  Praise God it goes on to say He knit me in my mother’s womb; that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It even says “How precious are Your thoughts about me!!!”(Psalms 139:17)  That did it.  I wept.  The Star Breather thinks precious thoughts towards me. Wow!!! I was speechless. I fell down in my living room with my hands lifted high, praising and worshiping an amazing God that my feeble mind cannot comprehend. All I could think about is the song "How he loves me." 

The passage ends with "Search me oh God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out ANYTHING that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life" (Psalm 139:23-24) David's heart cry is my heart cry.  Starting with realizing how big God is, He then reveals His Love for us, leads us to this place of total submission where we want to surrender anything and everything that hinders us from His love.  I needed that today.  I needed reminded of how deep His love is for me.  The way he delicately knit me together and His thoughts towards Tara. Oh how He loves me!!!!!

Jesus,

Precious Father, Holy Almighty God, thank you!! Many times I am at a loss for words when it comes to expressing my gratitude.  There simply isn’t words for how much I love you and how thankful I am.  I know who I am apart from you God, and I thank you for who You say I am.  I praise you for who I am IN You!! Thank you Jesus for giving up your life for somebody like me.  For taking my sins, all my sins to that cross with you. Your word says You bore my sins, that I might die to sin and live righteously.  By Your wounds I am healed!  (1 Peter 2:24) You took the penalty for me Jesus and for that I am eternally grateful.  I will use my life to praise you always.  Like David's cry God please keep searching me and remove anything that isn’t of you.  God no matter what, no matter how painful, Lord purge me of ungodliness. Make me more like you. Thank you Father for loving me and caring so much!! 

In Your Holy name;

Amen

Are you ready?

Onward Christian soldiers marching out to war, with the cross of Jesus going on before!  This is an old hymn I remember singing when I was little and attending church.  I didn’t know what it meant I just remember in my precious moment’s bible there was a picture of a little kid in war gear.  And in true precious moment’s style, the armor was over sized and too big.  I loved singing that song because I felt the power behind it.  The congregation would sing it with such authority like they knew the battle was already won.  The enemy was going down as Christians march forward! Jesus said it himself that the gates of hell will not prevail! (Matthew 16:17-19) The other day I woke up with this song in my head after not hearing it for probably 15 years! 

I have been feeling for awhile now that Christians are being filtered. All around me I am watching some Christians step up into the battle ready to fight and I have watched others sadly go A.W.O.L. I have seen people’s faith truly move mountains and I’ve witness people’s faith disintegrate. Some Christians have had an amazing spiritual awakening while others have sorrowfully died.  “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, but I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.  And when you have returned, strengthen your brother” (Luke 22:31-31). This is one of my favorite verses because Jesus himself states he prays for us.  When life seems like no one cares always remember Jesus prays for us!  When we are being sifted Jesus the Christ is praying for us.  Praise God for his compassion.  We learn from this scripture that anyone is susceptible to being sifted.  Simon (Peter) was walking with Jesus.  He hung out everyday and did everything with Jesus here on this earth.  If you ask me, I would think for that reason Satan might want to sift someone else, but that’s not what happened.  Satan wanted to sift someone who was close to Jesus intentionally.  Satan needs to attack the ones who are closest to Jesus.  Satan knows that they are the ones who are thwarting his plans.  They are the ones who are getting in the devils way.  They are the ones marching onward.  That’s scary to me.  The idea of Satan sifting me freaks me out.  Praise God the verse goes on to say “..but I have prayed for you!”  Again, Praise the Lord he prays for us! It is interesting that he doesn’t say I prayed so he won’t sift you, instead he prayed that afterwards Simon would be better used for His kingdom.  So many times I pray God protect me from evil instead of praying God make me better for your kingdom even if it involves me being sifted by the devil himself.  We can rejoice and take comfort knowing whatever we are going through Jesus is praying for us. 

It keeps getting brought up in the body of Christ to get ready, brace ourselves, and be ready for battle.  The devil is sifting.  That is evident. Some are unfortunately falling through the crevice, while others like Simon, come back stronger than before.  I know God is preparing His people for battle.  I can sense it.  Other believers can feel it as well.  Many of us feel the tension in the air knowing that God is preparing us for something. This is exciting and scary all at the same time.  Like soldiers preparing for war, Christians need to be preparing for combat. Jesus prayed that Simon’s faith would not fail.  Sadly I am watching people’s faith fail them.   I am watching people’s foundation crumble. A foundation they thought was sturdy was actually built on sand, even if it looked like it was on the rock, surely it wasn’t. Jesus said a house truly built on the rock wouldn’t fall.  I need to make sure my foundation is on the Rock of Jesus Christ.  I need to make sure I put on the full armor of God every day.  I must be ready and willing at all times being steadfast in prayer, devoting my time to His word.  This is not a time to relax for the body of Christ.  We have been resting for too long.  The calm before the storm isn’t a time to be calm at all, but instead build up our faith because the storm is coming. “If you are always ready, he will not find you sleeping, even if he comes back earlier than expected. I tell you this, and I say it to everyone: 'Be ready!'" (Mark 13:24-37)

My prayer is that I am ready. I pray that we don’t get sifted out when the devil sifts us.  I pray that we can march forward and fight the good fight for Jesus Christ our savior.  People need God, this world is dying, and we are the soldiers God has called. It is not a time to sleep. Wake up Church! The time is Now.

Dear Lord~

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for loving me so much even praying for me.  God you are so unbelievably good to us and I praise your holy name.  Lord, help me to stand strong in your name.  Help me to share the gospel and tell the world; help me to not grow tired.  Lord, I pray for the body.    I pray that your people rise and fight with your full armor on, using the shield of faith to protect us.  Lord, I have heard from so many that you are preparing your people and I thank you for being called by you and for your work.  Help me prepare myself.  Help me help others get ready.  God it breaks my heart to see people walk away from you as I know it hurts your heart more, help them to turn back around.  Jesus, help them to have a strong foundation that doesn’t crumble at the enemies attacks.  God you are our strength and our shelter.  Thank you Father for protecting us, equipping us, shielding us, strengthening us, and sending us into battle for you!  You don’t need us yet you chose us. Thank you.

In my saviors precious name,

Amen