The Truth

This week I learned the truth about something. It was extremely painful for me to hear and even harder for me to try to understand. It was the kind of truth that sent me straight to the cross. I ran into Jesus arms crying. I wept at the foot of the cross trying to understand the truth that just changed my reality.  At first, all I could do was cry with Jesus. I told him how much it hurt, how it wasn’t fair. I sat there in his presence for a long time just needing to be held. Jesus sent many of His people to speak His love into my life. He sent His angels to protect me. He allowed me to cry, but then I heard Him speak, “Tara, it was still the truth even if you hadn’t heard it.”  This statement has been my focus for a few days now.

The truth is the truth whether I know it or not.  It isn’t the truth that hurts us. Jesus says the Truth will set us free; it’s realizing that we were previously deceived. The reality is I like to not know. I think society can be that way as well; hence the saying ignorance is bliss. I can almost prefer to keep my eyes closed. The problem with that is; Jesus is truth. When I keep my eyes closed I don’t see what Jesus is doing.  When I pray and say things like whatever your will Jesus, I have to be ready to handle the truth He shows me. Regardless. God loves me so much He allowed me to see the Truth.

He also showed me that once the truth is revealed, God can work.  I’ve seen many people hurt because they discovered the truth and at that point they walk away from God.  Please don’t walk away from God when He shows you something. No matter how painful because once the DR reveals the condition; He can heal it!  Just like when the Lord first shows us our condition without him. When he first brought into light what a sinner I was and how desperate I was for Him, it was rough.  I certainly didn’t want to face it. So, I didn’t for awhile, probably about a year, but then when I finally accepted it, God started healing me.  In actuality; I was filthy whether God showed me or not but His love is so great that He brought it to light. He then began cleaning me up and sanctifying me.  What a beautiful process. Who I am today is solely because I finally came to a place and accepted Truth. I would’ve never thought six years later I would be where I am. I know that while this new truth I discovered hurts now, I can’t wait to see the end product. To see how the Great Almighty God cleans it up and heals it.

God~

Thank you for your Truth. Thank you that you love me enough to reveal truth to.  You are a mighty gracious, merciful God. Lord, even though this hurts now I know there will be joy in the morning. You promise. Lord, help me to never fear hearing your truth. Thank you for this chance to again rely completely on you. I love how close you are to me in storms. Jesus, thank you for being Truth.  Thank you for always answering prayer and for your Love. Thank you that your ways and thoughts are higher than mine always. I will always put my trust in you and love you for always.

In Jesus precious name

Amen.

Back to School

Whew, school is back in session. Busy, busy, busy. I took the summer off and am exhausted trying to get back in the habit of go go going. Between working, school, and church my days are jam packed. The first day back in school wasn’t the best for me.  I am taking math which starts at 7 am; not the best decision on my part, so my morning started off earlier than I am used to. I jump started it when I realized I lost my parking pass; A must have if you want any chance of finding a parking place. I ran out the door early so that I could find a parking spot only to forget my swim suit that I needed for water aerobics. I had to turn and go back around defeating the whole purpose of leaving early.  Things only continued down this crazy chaotic path for the remainder of that day. I had wardrobe malfunction when my back pack grabbed part of my dress exposing me. Thankfully I caught on before anyone else did, and of course my days wouldn’t be complete without me clumsily hurting myself. I was running out of the building at a remarkable speed pushed on a door clearly marked pull only to meet it dead head on; with witnesses I must add. At this point I started laughing thinking that this would make a great sitcom. Yep my first day was AWESOME.  :-/

The next day was very similar, but without the comedic relief. I was under slept and over whelmed. I wanted to cry. I wasn’t sure if I could handle the class load I set up for myself this semester. I wasn’t feeling confident that I could understand the material being taught to me. I just wasn’t sure of anything and that left me sad and scared. I was talking to God throughout the day as usual, but it was more me going to him whining.  As I was heading in to one of my classes I overheard a phone conversation that said, “Let me pray with you.” This stopped me in my tracks. I looked over and saw a young guy maybe in his twenties, head bowed, and eyes closed, praying for his friend over the phone. I know this doesn’t seem like much but it was smack dab in the center of the busy chaos of a college campus. College kids his age were scurrying by to their next class and he was right in the middle of traffic stopped and praying!! This was exactly what I needed.  God reminded me right then that He was there. He was in that school with me. He was walking through the madness by my side. I saw a picture of what it looks like when I stop looking at the commotion and instead look at Him. At the core of the hustle and shuffle of school one kid bowed his head and light emanated from it. He showed me Gods presence.

Sometimes in the chaos it’s easy to get your focus off center. It happens fast; then all you see is the disorder.  I forgot that my eyes need to be on the Lord. I forgot that I can do ALL things through Jesus Christ. (Phil 4:13) I didn’t remember that He goes before all of my days and has His hand is upon me. (Psalm 139:5) I lost sight of my focal point and this student who didn’t lose his, was able to remind me. Praise the Lord. God is everywhere. His blessings are surrounding us. We need only to look for them; we need to look for Him.

Lord,

Thank you for showing me yourself. Thank you lord for loving someone like me who’s so forgetful. I can get carried away and take my eyes off of you but you always bring me back.  Thank you for being there with me.  You walk with me through all situations even when they seem so out of control. God you are my everything. Help me Father to keep my focal point. Help me to run to you, to see you, and to draw my strength from you. Thank you lord for your faithful servant who was willing to pray that day and remind me. Bless that person God for shining your light. I love you Lord.

In your Son’s Holy name,

Amen.