This weekend was wonderful. My husband and I packed up and took our puppy camping. This was our first time camping as a family. The days were filled with sunshine, swimming and fishing. We learned that our puppy, that is a mixed breed Chihuahua and dachshund, can in fact swim. He has always been afraid of the water but with temperatures pushing 100 degrees he willingly and gladly jumped off the dock and swam to shore. My husband and I both watching to make sure the little guy could make the journey. Of course he did and he felt so much better afterwards.
The nights however were very different from the days. Every night we camped, it stormed. Normally I love thunder and lightning. Even as a child I loved storms. I do not remember a time where I was scared because of the weather. My mom, my brother and I would always sit outside and watch the vibrant lightning flash across the sky and then count until the thunder came. Of course, a sure proof way to measure how far the lightning was from us. So we thought J This time though, was different. Something about being in the middle of nowhere changed how safe I felt. I was terrified. We were in a little tent, on the river, bordered by trees, oh and little metal poles holding the tent up, my brain couldn’t shake the thought that I’m surrounded by lightning attractors. My husband did his best to comfort me but I was too far freaked out. The ironic part was the song that kept repeating itself in my head. “Holy Spirit you are welcome here, Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere.” And then it goes on to say, “Let us become more aware of your presence.” Even in my fear I had to laugh at the irony. I spent that whole night praying mainly for God to make it stop or to give me peace all the while I was probably missing His presence.
The next day I thought about this. How many times do I miss peace in His presence because I’m afraid? Sadly, probably more than I want to admit right now. I can be a scaredy cat. God brought to my mind Mark 4:35-41. He and his disciples were on a boat when a huge storm came. Jesus was sleeping in the back of the boat while this storm is pounding against the side. The disciples woke him asking “Do you not care that we are perishing?” Jesus then told the sea and storm to be still. In that instance it went away and Jesus then looked at his followers and said “why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” Wow. Yep God, that was me. Here I was in the middle of a storm yet I forgot who was with me. Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith? These are good questions. What exactly was I afraid of? Where was my faith at that moment? Few things show both the beauty and power of the Almighty God like a strong thunder and lightning storm but my mind was fixed on fear, not on Him. I missed a wonderful opportunity to admire Him. I do not want this to happen again. I want to sleep in the back of the boat snuggled up with Jesus knowing in His presence I will always be safe.
Father,
Thank you so much for loving me. Thank you that your faithfulness is so much greater than mine. Lord, forgive me for my fear. Forgive me for not seeing your beauty but instead being so wrapped up in my circumstances. God I want to learn to rest in your presence. Help me with this please. Help me to keep my eyes on you and you alone.
In Jesus Holy name,
Amen.
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